


Christmas, Motherfucker

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: And Kurloz Too, Christmas Special, F/M, Haha More Gamzee Everyone, Kariat Has a Suit For Once And a Tie With Crabs On It, Kurloz Did Some Stuff But Its OK Now :)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 08:57:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5533892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gamzee's dad Kurloz shows up from the blue after fourteen years of no contact.<br/>(In which Gamzee gets sick, Karkat scares Kurloz and Christmas brings Miracles)<br/>MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! (/°♡°)/</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas, Motherfucker

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts), [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> To everyone who's helped me out, Merry Christmas, and happy new year!

Gamzee took the mug the mug from Karkat, blanket wrapped around his shoulders and sopping wet hair hanging in his face. He raised it to his lips, hands shaking so much from his incessant shivering he dropped the mug in his lap and spilled the hot chocolate inside. The clown yelped, bolting up only to fall right back down from the headrush it caused. Karkat cursed.

     "God damn it, Gamzee! If you knew you had arms weaker than a newborn fucking giraffe with toothpicks for limbs, you could've fucking told me!" Gamzee flinched at his best friend's yelling, his head hanging as Karkat helped him from the now coca-soaked clothes.  When the tremors skating up his spine had increased and all he was wearing was his boxers, Karkat replaced the blanket over his shoulders with a sigh before leading him to the bathroom.

     "S-sorry brother I up an' just..." He was tired and cold and most likely sick, his brain too slow to figure out how to finish the sentence. The clown watched numbly as his best friend turned out the hot water in the bathtub, not noticing when he turned around and gestured for him to get in until he waved a hand in his face. And then before he knew it, he was in the tub with Karkat rinsing shampoo out of his hair.

     "It's okay, dumbass. This isn't the first Goddamn time, you know. You always end up back at my house one way or another, but could you please not show up in a fucking downpour in thirty degree weather? I just don't see why you insist on- Gamzee hey!" Said person snapped his head up just before his face hit the wall. He slipped underwater as a result, Karkat hauling him back up before he could drown himself. The clown coughed.

     "I just don't see why you insist on doing shit like this. It's fucking Christmas eve, you know. You could've fucking died on Christmas eve, Gamzee!" Karkat scowled at his own words. Gamzee looked up, suddenly remembering the reason he came out to Karkat’s house in the first place.

     "That's right, brother! I ain't gonna be up an' motherfuckin able to head to that huge-ass shindig y'all been plannin' for tomorrow." He smiled regretfully. "Sorry bro." 

      "And do I dare inquire as to why you're skimping out on us?" Karkat asked sarcastically.

     "Dad's coming home." Gamzee's smile widened, and Karkat's eyebrows rose.

     "Are you absolutely sure? That stupid neglecting bastard is actually seeing you for once in a million fucking years?" Gamzee's smile fell but he nodded all the same.

    "Yeah. He motherfucking called me up last night."

     "Did you make him swear on it? I don't want you staying home with him not showing up."

     "Yes, brother yes." Karkat's eyebrows lowered.

     "Than you know what?"

     "What is it my best motherfucking bro?"

     "I'm coming with you." The clown's grin grew to where his face paint was barely an exaggeration.

     "Thanks brother!" Gamzee jumped out of the bathtub, snagging Karkat and wrapping him in a hug, ignoring his lack of clothing. The man in his arms flailed. 

     "Yeah, merry Christmas, dickhead," Karkat said, muffled into his shoulder.

     "Yeah. Merry motherfucking Christmas."

 

^<><><><><>^

 

     "What if he don't like me?" Gamzee asked, worrying at the collar of his shirt. Karkat sighed, that was the only nice shirt he could find that fit the Capricorn, and he was going to wrinkle it to death. "What if he thinks I'm some motherfucking failure? I haven't motherfucking seen him in awhile, what if he don't recognize this motherfucker?" He stopped pacing, gesturing to his somewhat formal attire and odd complexion,  and then Karkat thought he understood.

     He had definitely grown since he was seven (that was when Gamzee first came to Karkat's house asking for food. It could've been earlier that Mr. Makara had left), that was for sure. His hair had grown out and was now in dreads dyed purple and down to the small of his back in length. He had long ago ditched the black and white facepaint, now revealing scars from an incident nobody dared to mention and freckles nobody had noticed before. His ears had been embellished with earrings along with a hoop in one eyebrow, his arms now covered in tattoos in white ink so they stood out on his arms. He wore a purple striped Polo shirt and black dress pants, bright purple sneakers with red laces to top it all off. The fact that his nose was running down the side of his face from last night's episode didn't help either.

     "Simple," said Karkat. "If he doesn't like you, then I'll kick him out the fucking house. If he thinks you're a failure, than I'll slap him then kick him out of the fucking house. If he doesn't remember you, then I will fill him in, slap him, shove my food up his ass and kick him out of the fucking house." Gamzee looked frightened all of a sudden. He began pacing again, chewing on his lip.

     "What if... what if he up an motherfucking finds out about the... you know, bro." The meds? Was that what he was worrying about? Karkat groaned, he couldn't see why Gamzee was so paranoid about this shit.

     "Gamzee, if you don't want him to know about to the fucking voices in your head, don't tell him right now! You're going to have to tell the fucking bastard about the Schizophrenia someday, but if you don't want to fucking tell him, I will. You need to stop fucking worrying, damn it.  Just- just stop fucking pacing you fuckass!" Karkat took his best friend by the shoulders, halting him from his pacing.

     "Bro, I can't do this shit," Gamzee said softly. He stared down at his feet. "I ain't never seen him in motherfucking fourteen years." Karkat smiled as much as a man who rarely smiled twice a week could.

     "Yes you can. Now go take a piss and make a sandwich or whatever the hell you need to do because hour dad is-" There was a knock at the door. "Your dad is apparently right the fuck here. Go make yourself presentable, I'll answer the damn door." Gamzee dashed off in the direction of the bathroom, and Karkat made his way to answer the door.

 

     Kurloz was very obviously related to Gamzee. They had the same dark skin, same freaky blue eyes that turned purple in the correct light, and the same crookedness to the bridge of their noses that made it seem like they may have broken it in the past. They even had the same weird ass freckles that Karkat could have sworn were the same pattern as the zodiac Capricorn. The man seemed bewildered by a short redhead answering the door, so Karkat quickly assured him he was a friend of Gamzee and led him to the couches indoors.

     Kurloz himself was even taller than Gamzee, and that was a feat on its own. He was folded awkwardly on the overstuffed couch in the living room, unsure of what to say to the little angry looking, red haired man wearing a burgundy collared shirt, the same color dress pants and jacket, and a tie that was... amazingly enough, decorated with little crabs on it. Huh, his son had surely made some odd friends while he was gone. Okay... maybe he should try conversation? And hope Gamzee came back soon, the man looked ready to murder Kurloz where he stood. 

    "So... odd weather for December, huh?" Kurloz tried weakly. The man seemed to snap back to focus when he spoke. His angry expression grew to the point Kurloz feared for his life in favor of him burning a hole in his face with the intensity of the stare alone.

     "Listen here, dickmunch. I'm Karkat Vantas. I am not your damn friend. I am not your damn brother. I am here re as emotional support for your son, because he's meeting his asshole father for the first time in God knows how the fuck long! In short, if you hurt him in any way, shape, or form, I will murder you with that stupid ass tie around your neck as my weapon of choice!" Kurloz raised his hands in surrender. He was forty two years old and afraid of someone his son's age. Wow. On top of that, this was the man who developed a big brother complex Gamzee had talked about over the phone.  Speak of the devil....

     There he is. His son walked into the living room , terror in his eyes and recognition on his face, Kurloz stared at Gamzee,  bare of visible emotion except for his fists clenched at his sides. Not from anger, heavens no. But from fear. What if he had ruined any chance of a bond with his son? What if the men had followed him here? What of he had fucked up, what if Gamzee hated him?

     Similar thoughts were running through Gamzee's head. What if his father hated him for what's wrong with his brain? What if his dad wanted him to call sooner, what if it was too late? He felt the familiar buzzing drone made by millions of faraway voices in his skull, and in a desperate attempt to keep his cool, he spoke.

     "Hey, dadbro. What up an happens?" Kurloz broke. He swept Gamzee up in a hug, purposefully ignoring the shocked look Karkat sent in his way. His son resisted for a second before giving in, squeezing him with vigor to match. 

     "I am so fucking sorry, kid. I got involved with some terrible people over some terrible shit, I wish I could've been there for you, fuck." 

     "It's okay brother, you're motherfuckin' here now, it's all up an' good now. Shit happens, I should motherfuckin know bro, it's okay."

      While those two were catching up, Karkat flipped on his phone, turning his back on them and walking outside. His phone than began ringing, and he smiled despite the rain on his face.

     "Karkles!" Said Terezi. "Where are you? You're missing the party, babes. I miss you, mister cherry smoothie." Karkat grinned despite himself.

     "Don't fucking call me that."

    "Still! Why aren't you here? You better have a good reason or you're being punished."

     "Me? Oh, I'm probably watching the second sappiest thing on this damn planet."

     "That is?"

     "Gamzee found his dad after a million years. Don't worry, I'm coming over."

     "Good! I'll tell Sollux and Tav! They'll be happy to hear it. Love you!" She hung up. Karkat laughed, walking back indoors.

     "Merry Christmas dickheads!" He shouted at Gamzee and Kurloz.

     "Merry Christmas!"

 

<◇CHRISTMAS SPECIAL END◇>


End file.
